The Epic Hawkonico Wedding RP of August 31, 2018
(Zuli walks in and nobody knows who he is) Hawkodile: Whoa, who's that guy? Zuli: HEY GUYS LOOK UP PERIDOT AND GO TO IMAGES (Zuli leaves.) Ivy: Hey, I heard Hawkodile and Nico are gonna marry! (Hawkodile looks up Peridot and goes to images) (Nico t-poses) Nico: What's up bitches Pinto: Leave! You said a bad word Nico: Fuck off dog child Hawkodile: I just looked up Peridot and went to images Nico: Whoa what's so epic Ivy: Hey Nico fuck off from my daughter Nico: Why are you both so fucking salty Hawkodile: Hey you guys shouldnt swear so much you'll anger Jesus Ivy: Nobody insults or hurts Pinto k? K? Nico: Oh sowwy (Nico squints her eyes at Ivy like she's a psycho) Nico: Anyway, who wants to play Fortnite?! Hawkodile: I DO!! Ivy: Hey I’m gonna set up your wedding with Hawkodile, Nico. Nico: EPIC!!!! THANKS IVY!!! Hawkodile: Yay thank you Ivy! (Zuli walks in again) Zuli: DID YOU LOOK UP PERIDOT AND GO TO IMAGES YET Hawkodile: Hawkodile: Yes I did look up Peridot and went to images Nico: Nah Zuli:WHAT DID YA SEE Nico: Nothing because I don't have eyes Hawkodile: I saw a green girl person Zuli: DID YOU SEE.. Nico: Green Zuli: TITS? Nico: What are tits? Hawkodile: Tits are small yellow birds right Nico: Oh yeaaahhh (Nico dabs so hard her arms fly off) Nico: MY ARMS FLEW OFF Hawkodile: Oh shit!! Nico: can we get a like Hawkodile: Don't worry babe I'll find your arms Nico: Yay! Thank you (Hawkodile t poses and clips through the floor) (Some time passes) Nico: Hey husband did you find my arms Hawkodile: Yeah I got em (Hawkodile hands Nico her arms) Nico: Thanks!!! Hawkodile: Anything for you my love (Nico's arms clip onto her body. She does the uwu face as this happens) Ivy: I’m ready! Nico: For what? Ivy: Your wedding! Nico: Wait, Hawkodile, when's our wedding? Hawkodile: Right now!!!! Nico: YEAH!!! (Nico celebrates her wedding by t-posing) (Hawkodile dabs) Nico: Yay this is epic (Hawkodile does Orange Justice) Ivy: I'll tell you my plans- (Nico does Orange Justice too) Nico: Okay honey let's get married Hawkodile:Heaven yeah!!!!!! (Nico hits the yeet) (Hawkodile smokes crack) Nico: Can I have some? Hawkodile: Yeah here u go (Hawkodile passes the crack pipe to Nico) Nico: Thank you! (Nico smokes crack) (the wedding planners arrive) Brainz: The wedding planners are here (The wedding begins!) (Nico dabs) Nico: TIME FOR OUR WEDDING! Hawkodile: Heaven yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Cut to the church, where the wedding is taking place) The priest: *priest noises* Priest person thing: Hawk Man do you take Nico to be ur wife Hawkodile: You know it bro!!!! (Suddenly, Hugh Neutron comes in!) Hugh Neutron: Wassup diggity n��️��️��️��️��️��️s Hawkodile: Omg Mr. Neutron can I get your autograph Priest: Hey Nico do you take this man to be ur husband Nico: YEAH DUHHHHHH Hugh Neutron: Y eah (Nico notices Hugh Neutron) Nico: STOP THE WEDDING IT'S HUGH FUCKING NEUTRON Hugh Neutron: I don't see wynaut Priest: okay you two now you may kiss the bride (Hawkodile kisses the bride) (Moment of silence for a while) Hugh Neutron: Oh shit I found something worse than rabid fans of kpop... rabid fans of me Hugh Neutron: Vocaloid sounds like the name of a medicin e Nico: THIS IS SO EPIC Hugh Neutron: Epic is the name of a movie and its really cool (Another moment of silence) Hugh Neutron: My playlist is filled with Hey There Delilah and Let the Bodies Hit the Floor Nico: SO IS MINE HUGH!! Hugh Neutron: switch to communism ��️ids Hawkodile: My playlist is just Weezer's cover of Africa twenty times Nico: I love that song!!! Hawkodile: Me too! Nico: Imma add it to the playlist! Ivy: My playlist has Japanese And English songs Nico: Epexy Hugh Neutron: And don't try to look for a girlfriend on ancestry.com unless you're a redneck Some redneck: Hyuck gawsh okay (Nico does the hype dance to Let the Bodies Hit the Floor) Ivy: ...Can I play my playlist? Nico: idk Ivy: K Hawkodile: Yes you can Nico: Yeaaa Ivy: Yayayayayaay! (Nightmare Parade plays at full volume) Nico: Fucking hell Hawkodile: This is epic (Nico does orange justice) Ivy: You like? Nico: It's alright. (Hawkodile does the floss) Nico: Woah, epic! Hugh Neutron: RIP XXXTentacion Nico: RIP X X''': Shut the fuck up Hugh I'm alive just not inside '''Hawkodile: Whoa its X from BFB Hugh Neutron: Oh sorry my n��️��️��️a X''': It fine (Nico plays "Look at Me" by XXXTentacion on ear rape volume) '''Hugh Neutron: Cool X''': Radical '''Hugh Neutron: Nice Nico: AAAAAAA X''': Super '''Hugh Neutron: Splendid X''': Amazing '''Hugh Neutron: Sweet X''': Precious '''Hugh Neutron: Good X''': Neat '''Hugh Neutron: Sublime X''': Superior '''Nico: This is sexy Hawkodile: This is epic can we drink purple flurp? Nico: YEAH!!! (Nico throws some purple flurp at her husband) Hawkodile: Thanks babe!!! Nico: NP!!! (Hawkodile fuckeng chugs that flurp) (Nico chugs the flurp) Hawkodile: E Nico: E! (Whizzer Brown from Falsettos comes in) Whizzer Brown: I found out that I am 1% black on ancestry.com Hugh Neutron: Me too Nico: Me three! Hugh Neutron: If you excuse me I'm gonna say the N word on Club Penguin Nico: Okay Hugh! (Nico gets drunk on purple flurp and almost dies) Hawkodile: My favorite N word is Nico uwuwuwuwuwuwu Nico: OWO? Hawkodile: UWU! Nico: OWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hawkodile dies from mesothelioma) Nico: NOOOOOOOO (Dez walks in, not even knowing the wedding is happening) Dez: I'm gonna do the ALS ice bucket challenge and dab! (Pixel gets summoned) Pixel: FUCK YEAH! Hugh Neutron: Wtf are you nuts Akiko: Dez what the fuck Nico: MY HUSBAND DIED Hugh Neutron: 1 dabbing is ghey 2 ALS ice bucket challenge is dead like Stephen Hawking Dez: :( Hugh Neutron: Do you see it now? Dez: Yes but, I love dabbing Akiko: Please kill me Dez: I'm sorry Hugh, but I gotta do this out of love Hugh Neutron: Fine but I hope you dab so hard your arms snap Nico: Omg look it's the funny wish boy! Hawkodile: Nvm I'm back now Nico: YAYAYAYA (Nico turns back over to Dez) Nico: Hey Dez, please sign my forehead Dez: Oh no Nico you shouldn't have said 'forehead' Nico: Why? (Osama Bin Shope bursts in) Osama Bin Shope: Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead Nico: OMFG ITS OSAMA BIN SHOPE Dez: HOLY SHIT Hawkodile: Terrorism is so unepic Nico: I AGREE Whizzer Brown: Alexa play Despa- (Whizzer is fucking shot by Alexa) Nico: WHO THE FUCK INVITED OSAMA BIN SHOPE TO THE WEDDING Hugh Neutron: FUCK Dez: HUGH NO Hugh Neutron: What is this a crossover episode (Hawkodile looks over at Whizzer's dead body) Hawkodile: Shit someone died (Dez t-poses) (Osama Bin Shope fucking crashes a jet into the church the wedding is in) Hugh Neutron: Terrorists steal planes not jets you dumbass Osama Bin Shope: Oh wh00ps Akiko: Hey Osama Bin Shope can I get an autograph Osama Bin Shope: kk (Osama Bin Shope signs Akiko's forehead) (Osama Bin Shope pilots Hugh Neutron's airplane-looking nose) Hugh Neutron: Ow fuck (Akiko and Dez t-pose in solidarity) ToddBotBOT08/31/2018 Nico: Hey what the fuck no t-posing at my wedding Dez'': e '''Hawkodile: Whoa I'm getting kinda horny Nico: Oh fuck Dez: What's a horny? Akiko: H Hawkodile: Horny is when you... it's like when... when you... you f (Hawkodile dies again) Nico: You what- WHO'S GONNA REPLACE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE HE FUCKING DIED Dez: I still don't know what a horny is (Kona Konanoki revives Hawkodile) Nico: Nevermind he's alive now Hawkodile: Yay thank you Kona! Nico: Babey!!! You're aliev!!! Hawkodile: Babe!!! Nico: My epic gamer husband is back!!! Hawkodile: LEt's celebrate! (Nico does orange justice) Ivy: Yay! (Hawkodile does the floss) (Nico does the hype as Dez t-poses in the background) Hugh Neutron: Wtf I invented the t-pose e Dez: Fuck off (Hawkodile does every fortnite dance at the same time and so does Nico) Hugh Neutron: I will ship you to Ethiopia or Niger, or maybe Vietnam, you choose Dez: Niger Hugh Neutron: Niger it is! Ivy: What about Finnuala, Dez? Dez: WHAT (Hugh snaps his fucking fingers and Dez is sent to Niger. Over in Niger he encounters Nigel Thornberry) Hawkodile: Can I go to Niger too Akiko: CAN I GO TO NIGER Nico: ME TOO PLS Ivy: Can I go to Niger to see Dez again? Dez: Ivy why did you bring up my sworn enemy/future wife Hugh Neutron: Yeah ��️oi (Hugh snaps his fingers and everyone is sent to Niger) Hawkodile: Yayayay Ivy: Yay Hugh Neutron: However... since Niger is in Africa, there's no electricity!) Hawkodile: Oh no, no electricity means no Fortnite! Hugh Neutron: ...And no water h Dez: Damnit!!! Osama Bin Shope: ...How the fuck will I get a plane in Niger Ivy': Dez x Finnuala is my OTP Hawkodile: Mine too! Dez: Hey Hugh, can you send us all to- (Since Hugh is omnipotent he immediately appears in Niger floating in midair) Hugh Neutron: Send y'all to WHERE Osama Bin Shope: What the fuck Dez: TO NORTH KOREA Hawkodile: Hey Hugh, can you say a bad word? Hugh Neutron: Okay! (Hugh takes a deep breath in) Hugh Neutron: ��️ride Month is ��️ad! (Moment of silence) Hugh Neutron: Okay I said it (Finnuala appears, t-posing) Finnuala: Why are you shipping me and Dez (Ivy grabs Finnuala and Dez's faces and puts them together) Ivy: NOW KISS. Dez: JESUS CHRIST IVY Hawkodile: Oh shit Finnuala Please end the pain (Hugh snaps his fingers and everyone is sent to Uranus ehehehewhhhszahahahahahahahhahahhhhhh) (Hugh appears in Uranus with them) Hawkodile: Haha uranus Hugh Neutron: Hahahahahahaah get it ahahahahahahahahaha oh my g od this is 2funny Osama Bin Shope: Who wants to smoke weed Ivy: I can’t breathe Osama Bin Shope: having acid reflux (Hawkodile is crushed by the massive gravity) Ivy: ...Send us to Japan please Nico: WHY DOES MY HUSBAND KEEP DYING Hugh: Get it you guys, Uranus as in your bootyhole Nico: Hey Dez can you marry me instead because my husband keeps fucking dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dez: No fuck you Hawkodile: What the heck babe are you saying you don't love me? Nico: NO!! IT WAS A JOAK!!! Hugh Neutron: I can't breathe liretaldlfggff (Hugh snaps his fingers and everyone is sent to Fucking, Austria!) Dez: we're in Fuck!!!!!! Hugh: Here we are bois, its Enid's favorite town: Fucking, Austria Hawkodile: Fuck Finnuala: Who's Enid? Hugh: Fucking (German: ˈfʊkɪŋ (￼ listen)) is an Austrian village2 in the municipality of Tarsdorf,3 in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria. The village is 33 kilometres (21 mi) north of Salzburg, 4 km (2.5 mi) east of the Inn river, which forms the German border. (Dez dabs) Nico: Fortnite! Whizzer Brown's spooky ghost: PUBG is better (Osama Bin Shope t-poses) Hugh Neutron: Wtf is fortnite Finnuala: Fortnite is bad Ivy: I agree Hawkodile: My peepee no work Finnuala: Nobody cares about your fucking peepee (Yet another bout of silence) Finnuala: Unlike you fucking normies, I watch Rick and Morty. (Finnuala teleports out and back into the scene, now wearing a Pickle Rick t-shirt. She keeps this shirt on at this point) Ivy: Do you watch SU, Fin? Finnuala: What the fuck no Hugh Neutron: Peridot is THICC (Jimmy, Hugh's dumbass crackhead son comes in) Jimmy Neutron: What the fuck dad why do you want to fuck a rock Finnuala: I don't watch SU normie Hugh: No one in Steven Universe is a gem jimbo Ivy: I don’t mean Steven Universe I mean SONIC UNDERGROUND Hawkodile: PUBG stands for Peanut Und Butter Gelly Nico: Guys I don't feel so good... Ivy: I don’t mean Steven Universe Finnuala: I don't watch SU, normie! Ivy: I mean SONIC UNDERGROUND Finnuala: The fuck's a Sonic Underground? Never watched it. Ivy'': Fuck you Fin '''Finnuala: Lol okay Finn the Human: (pointing to Ivy) no u Dez: Hey stop treating my wife like shit because she doesn't watch your fucking hedgehog show Finnuala: im not ur wife Ivy: Don’t come in my direction UNLESS you watch Sonic Underground (Dez grabs Finnuala's hand.) Dez: TAKE MY HAND IN FORCED MARRIAGE!! Hawkodile: Forced marriage is unepic Finnuala: I agree (the 69th bout of silence) Hawkodile: T Hanos! Hugh Neutron: Don't come in my direction unless you either heard the soundtrack to or watched Falsettos. The 2016 revival, not the gay 1992 version Ivy: The Big Gay Dez: Don't come in my direction if you disagree with forced marriage (Hawkodile doesn't go in Dez's direction.) Hugh Neutron: Stupid Dez you make me look bad Dez: No u Finnuala: To set the record straight I don't like Dez, or men in general. I'm a fricking lesbian Akiko: That's valid! Ivy: I knew it! Hawkodile: What's a lesbian? Hugh Neutron: Lesbian sounds like the name of a reptile. Just saying Ivy: Do you like Akiko, Finnuala? (Ivy puts on a smug face.) Finnuala: She's a dead person. Why would I date a dead person. Akiko: Well she isn't wrong! Hawkodile: I wanna know what a lesbian is Nico: A lesbian is an inhabitant of the Greek island of Lesbos Hawkodile: I thought it was a woman who likes other women Nico: Well you thought wrong! (Hugh snaps his fingers like T Hanos and everybody is in a world where direct-to-video Disney sequels come out every year) Akiko: WHAT THE FUCK Hugh Neutron: Man, I can't wait for Aladdin 5: Jafar Gets a Prostate Exam! Jimmy Neutron: I can't wait for... uhhh... Zootopia 2: Who Shot Chicken Little Dez: What about Cartwheel Cartwheel Cartwheel 2: Akiko Gets an Anal Probe Akiko: GO AWAY DEZ Finnuala: xD Hawkodile: Anuses are gross Nico: Ye Hugh Neutron: Little Mermaid 4: Ursula Bisits Bikini Bottom seems gr8 Jimmy Neutron: ur mom is great Hugh Neutron: ��️uck Dez: The plural of anus is anii Akiko: Gross. Finnuala: Why are we talking about anuses Hugh Neutron: 13 Reasons Why 2: Berenstain Bears is Spelled as BerenSTEIN Bears... Dez: IT'S ANII, NOT ANUSES! Hawkodile: What the fuck Ivy: Who wants to watch “Who Killed Captain Alex?”, a film from this country? Dez: I'd rather listen to kpop. Kpop sucks peepee Hugh: Oh no don't attract the rabid kpop fans! Finnuala: Lmao 69 Hawkodile: haha 69 Dez: six nine Ivy: No! NOOOOOOO Jimmy: What's a 69 (Hawkodile gets jaundice) Akiko: I have jaundice! (A stampede is heard) Dez: kpop is terrible Hugh: Run from the kpop fans! (Everyone runs) Hawkodile: kpop more like gaypop Dez: You're right Hawkodile: thank u mr funny wish kid Dez: kpop is so gay Finnuala: shut the fuck up Dez kpop is good (Hugh trips on a fuckig orange peel and is assaulted by the stampede of kpop fans) Hugh: wish kid more like makeawish hahahaha (Hugh is beaten up more) (Dez keysmashes) Hawkodile: I have jaundice Finnuala: I'll have you know kpop saved my life you goddamn faggot Dez: don't call me that Hugh: jpop is better Dez: YEAH!! Hawkodile: Japan is a bad place Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck jpop is. Is it a porn star name? Hugh: No. Dez: I love jpop! (Akiko smothers the kpop fans with a pansexual pride flag) Osama bin Shope: what's a pansexual (Hugh snaps his fingers like T Hanos and everybody is sent to July 11, 2001 where Osama bin Shope is terrorizing) Hugh: oh no not 7/11 Hawkodile: pansexuality isnt real the government made it up (Ivy covers Pinto's eyes) Osama bin Shope: OH YEAH BABEY!!!! Dez: anyone else here unironically like Supernoobs? Hugh: I do lol Dez: the purple one is my waifu Akiko: DEZ WHAT THE FUCK Hawkodile: I saw Supernoobs once and thought it was okay Hugh: I also like The Day My Butt Went Psycho and Camp Lakebottom and uhhhh Scaredy Squirrel Dez: Nice! Hugh: ...and Total Dramarama. And Johnny Test. Category:Stuff by PixelMiette Category:Shitposting Category:Unikitty Category:Love Live Category:Wishfart Category:SuperNoobs